Must My Wannabe Content Creator Pal Stop Using People for Content?

The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?